Blog #94: Did I Write a Blog Post Today?

Do you ever mentally do something, then forget later on whether or not you actually did that thing? Like sometimes I'll have something to say, but after thinking about it a lot I forget whether or not I actually said it (and then I start my sentence with "okay I honestly don't know if I've said this already, but...). Or, and this is something I do quite often, I read a text and mentally respond, only to go back hours later and realize I didn't actually text that person back. Now, much to my dismay, I've started doing this with my blog posts.

Throughout the day, if something strikes me, I'll often think about writing a blog post about it later. I'm a person who easily gets lost in my thoughts, so I'll essentially have a whole blog elaborately written out in my head, which I vow to jot down later when I have the time. Rarely does this happen where I actually write that same blog post later, but the mental act of 'writing' the post tricks me into thinking that I've completed it for the day. Then I lie down in bed, toss and turn for a bit, settle into my final sleeping position, wander toward the sweet, sweet sensation of sleep, get just close enough to touch it, then jolt myself out of it with the ever present yet still anxiety-inducing question; "Did I write a blog post today?!"

In tonight's rendition of this episode, the answer was no. I hadn't written a blog post yet. So, why did I try to sleep if I hadn't written one yet? I thought I already had.

See, when I was taking a study break earlier this evening, I ordered in some Chinese food and settled on the couch with my treat. From the first bite, this food tasted exactly like the food from the only Chinese restaurant in my hometown (shoutout to my homegirl Lu at Jade Garden) and it instantly brought back memories of the (few) times my mom let us order in Chinese food when I was a kid.

Amidst the stress of studying for the two finals I have tomorrow, I was reminded of living room picnics in the dead of winter, the Jonah Veggietales DVD my siblings and I know too well, secretly picking out the peas and carrots mom instructed me to eat from my fried rice, and jump-dancing in the living room to our favorite music as sweat dripped from my forehead and our parents watched and laughed hysterically.

For just a moment, as I indulged in my heaping portion of China Pearl, carrots and all, I was no longer a 21-year old in India who hasn't seen her family since the second week of this no longer 'new' year, but an 11-year old who had never spent more than a few days away from her family, whose best friend of 11 years was still only one block down the road, whose little brothers were still little enough for her to boss them around and whose worries consisted primarily of convincing her parents to let her stay up past her 8:30 bedtime. And all because of some Chinese food.

So anyway, as I sat there reminiscing, I wrote a blog post. In my head. I would like to think it was very beautiful, as I spent a lot of time on it, and I remember using vivid, emotional descriptors and flowery language to describe my feelings about growing up and eating Chinese food alone in my apartment in India. But, alas, the boys walked in and distracted me, which was followed by me getting distracted by my studying, as well as the number of distractions that inevitably come with that. And, well, I got ready for bed, and you know the rest.

I wish this blog post could be as beautiful as the one I wrote in my head, but it's 1am now, and after hours of studying, that's simply not the case. Maybe I should actually start recording my blog posts in my computer or on a piece of paper as opposed to just my brain. That would save me a lot of confusion. And a lot of sleep.

You know it's a bit of a rough day when the only pictures you took are notes on your computer screen.