Blog #342: No Apologies 2020

I've made a lot of unnecessary apologies so far this year.

"Sorry my music is a little grungy..."

"Sorry my diet is so difficult..."

"Sorry, I can't remember how to play that song..."

I've also redacted the vast majority of those apologies, because they're dumb to say.

I'm not sorry my diet is difficult— I'm appreciative when people make accommodations for my diet, which is something that makes me feel better and that I don't want to change.

I'm not sorry my music can be grungy sometimes— I'm open to listening to other peoples' music, but I like mine.

When it comes down to it, we (being women, who are most afflicted by this) get caught in this apologetic language in which it seems natural to apologize for every single thing about us, down to the space we take up. People bump into me, and I apologize! It's not natural, and it's not something I want to do.

I've tried to stop doing this in the past, such as not apologizing and moving off the sidewalk when two people are walking by, but I kind of unintentionally made this a New Year's resolution.

While in Reno, the four of us kept apologizing to each other for stupid things (see list above), and every single time, the other three would interject with "Don't apologize for your feelings/your music/your diet/your abilities/etc.!!" Pretty soon, every time I heard a non-necessary apology, I just yelled "No Apologies 2020!" It quickly became one of our mottos for the trip, and now, every time I say I'm sorry, I think of it and assess whether or not my apology was necessary. Most of the time, it wasn't.

So, in 2020, I'm going to try to start replacing my apologies with what I'm actually trying to communicate. I'll say "Thank you for accommodating me" instead of "I'm sorry I'm so difficult," or "Unfortunately I don't have the time to help with that" instead of "I'm so sorry, I just don't know if I can manage!" I'll stop moving off the sidewalk for other people. It's No Apologies 2020.