Blog #256: People Are Changing

College is truly a funny time. It's such an integral transitionary period for people, and seeing as people grow and change at different rates and in different ways, there is an odd culture that is cultivated on a campus.

First of all, most students begin college as kids. They're barely eighteen, if not younger, and are fresh out of high school, their parent's home, and the sheltered lifestyle of being a child.

On the other hand, most seniors can legally drink, are finding jobs and apartments, and sometimes are engaged or even married. Throughout their years in college, they've transitioned to "adulthood" in many ways (whatever that means), and are just... old.

At least, as a senior, that's how I feel. Old.

This juxtaposition is so strange, because you can walk down campus and see a friend who hasn't even declared a major yet and is partying every weekend, then four steps later run into a friend who has their own apartment with their fiancé and a job they'll continue working at full-time after graduation. Their lives can be so strikingly different, yet they both still find themselves studying for midterms in the library on a Wednesday night.

Nearly everyone in college is relatively the same age (a few years' difference is really nothing), but each year is so dense with changes and growth that a couple years' difference can seem like a couple decades.

It's also interesting because, as I said, people change at different rates. In fact, sometimes people hardly change at all. Whether this be a good or bad thing, it can make it difficult to maintain relationships when you are someone who changes a lot.

I'm vastly different from the person I was just six months ago, and that person was different from the person I was six months before that. For this I am grateful. The changes I undergo are more often than not intentional, and I view them as a form of positive growth.

Still, as excited as I am about the learning and changing I've done over the past few years, it has also presented difficulties. I sometimes find that I have little in common with people I deeply care about, which is an unsettling conclusion to come to after years of friendship. And, even though I still enjoy their company and continue to care for them, my relationships with those people are never quite the same.

This is also true with my interests and hobbies. I find myself wanting to dedicate my time to new ventures, and even though I almost feel a sense of betrayal in regard to the time I previously spent pursuing other interests, I know I would never feel fulfilled sticking to that same path.

One final thought I have is that this floating effect I feel— that feeling of trying to find my place amongst changing people and values— has been exacerbated by my time spent abroad. Not only was it a life changing experience which shaped me in a lot of ways, but it was also time I spent away from the other people in my life who were changing at the same time. Rather than getting to see each other change, we all did it independently and had to find a way to reconcile the differences upon my return. For some, this went swimmingly. For others... our relationship essentially just stalled.

Things happen as they will, and I'm a firm believer that they always work themselves out, so I'm not entirely upset about these changes that have occurred, even if they resulted in endings. I'm not saying it's joyous, but I do think that growth is necessary, and staying the same in the name of preserving a hobby or relationship that doesn't serve you anymore is just silly in some ways.

In the end, it's just funny to reflect on the culture of a college campus, because people are going through these changes every single day. Some people are the same as they've always been, and some are almost unrecognizable in every way. Some are young and clueless, others are getting ready to start a family. And me? I'm just doing my own thing, growing and changing in my own way.