Blog #213: Here it Comes

I've been living in an alternate reality. With only 14 credit hours and no job, I've had more free time on my hands than I've known what to do with.

Now, all in one week, I'm getting ready to start two new jobs and lacrosse practice as well. It's going to be... intense. I'm looking forward to most of the things— I enjoy working and money and hopefully will enjoy lacrosse— but it's still a lot at once that I'm going to be diving into.

Although this busier-than-seemingly-possible lifestyle has kind of been my M.O. throughout college, it hasn't been so since I went to India, and it's a little intimidating to get back into. I also can't really say I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the individual things, sure, but the intensely busy lifestyle as a whole is not something I'm ready to jump back into.

Frankly, I'm not sure if I'll ever want to dive in as deep as I have in the past.

In fact, just thinking about the coming busyness of the week has had me anxious and on edge all day today. This means I've got five or more schedules to coordinate (class, lacrosse, job 1, job 2, family/friends), less time for spontaneity or podcast-making or procrastination or homework, and the continued stress of figuring out post-graduation plans looming ever closer each passing minute. It's enough to make me want to hide away and emerge in a few months' time when it's all over.

That said... I'm trying to remind myself to enjoy it. This is my last shot at some form of adolescence, whatever that means, because once I graduate, it's just the real world out there.

I'm also reminding myself to let the stress loose, because as I always say, "Things either work out or you die." So, tonight, I crazy-danced to some Elton John and reminded myself that things will work out in one way or another. I also sat with eyes closed and listened to Hozier (does that count as meditation, Mom?). I just think at most times that Hozier deserves my full attention.

Finally, I'm reminding myself to not take myself so seriously. I have weird interests, and I'm goofy as heck, but this keeps things fun. Instead of getting caught up in schedules or grades or future plans, I'll remind myself that I'm more than what I accomplish. I'm allowed to stop taking myself so seriously and pursue a non-traditional path.

So, this week is going to be crazy. There's no getting around that. In spite of the craziness, here are three reminders for myself, and if you like any/all of them, for you as well:

1. Enjoy this year.

2. Let the stress go— things will work themselves out.

3. Don't take yourself so seriously.

The busyness is coming, but I'm ready to put on some Elton John, crazy-dance it out, and laugh with my friends. Heck, I may even wear my Hozier shirt tomorrow.

You better believe I bought this "Elton John Greatest Hits" vinyl for like 25cents at some thrift store.