Blog #201: My Last First Day & The Beatles

Everything has been happening so fast that just now, at 10:25pm, is it dawning on me that today was my "last first day" of undergrad here at Morningside.

I'm sorry... WHAT?

No way I'm a senior in college already.

I remember my "last first day" of high school, and boy was that an event. There were pictures, matching t-shirts, tears, the whole works.

Today? I slept in until 10 and didn't do a whole lot before my first class at 1:45.

I feel like that's a decent explanation of growing up.

It seems absolutely unreal to me that I could be this old, but at the same time, today didn't even register in my mind as a "monumental" or significant type of day. I've spent so much time working to get here that I barely even realized when I finally had.

I've been putting on lots of Beatles records lately, and this just reminds me of one of my favorite lyrics from them: "Life flows on within you and without you." (From Within You Without You, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967. Brief history- it was written and performed by George Harrison without the involvement of any other Beatles, and was inspired by his pilgrimage to India, which you can clearly hear in the song. Oddly enough, Harrison is responsible for a number of my absolute favorite Beatles songs.)

Anyway... Life flows on within you and without you.

There's so much to dissect in this lyric, and so much it could be applied to. Yet, at this specific time, it's a reminder to me that life— my own, and life in general— continues to flow on regardless of whether or not I acknowledge that fact. At times this flow will noticeably affect me— it will flow within me— and sometimes it won't— it will flow without. Nevertheless, it continues to flow. People grow older, relationships change, expectations arise, routines are constructed.

Looking at this picture, it's hard to even recognize it as myself. Though in many ways I am the same, in many more I am very different from the young girl in that photo. I just wonder how aware she was of the future, if she had any idea that her life would flow to the point it's at now.

Along with that, I think of myself 20 more years into the future, and wonder how connected I'll feel then with this version of me that is currently existing now. Where will I be, and with whom? What will I be doing, and why? At this point I at least know my life will continue flowing on, but predicting where it will go would be futile.

I'm excited for my last year of school, and as nervous as I am about what the future holds, I'm really excited for that too. No matter what comes, life will flow on within me and without me, and by this, I feel a bit reassured.