Blog #171: Growth

There's this poem by an author named Tyler Knott Gregson whom I really love, and I think about it quite often. The poem goes like this:

The first time I read it a few years back, the 'so much more to become' I imagined in my head revolved around my career and accomplishments. I didn't want to be the same student working the same job and achieving the same things. Every time I read it, I dreamed big about the career I would one day have, the name recognition, the influence. I also felt a sense of dread at the fact that I would have to leave some people and values behind in order to accomplish those things.

Now, when I read it, it means something entirely different to me. I'm not terrified of a lack of accomplishments or impressive titles, but of staying precisely the same in regard to my growth as a person. I am terrified to stop learning, to stop growing as I better understand my own emotions, to stop connecting with new people or stop tending to the important relationships I'm already so lucky to have. My 'so much more to become' is now simply a better, more in-tune version of myself. A version of myself who understands and cares for herself, as well as the people around her.

In the past, this poem was almost stressful to me. Now, it's exciting. How wonderful a couple of sentences are to stick with me for this long, and to grow to hold more meaning as I find more of it along the way.

I thought of this poem today when I saw a picture that my pal Mary Alice posted, and it was just a nice reminder of what I have been shifting my focus toward, and how I want to keep shifting it. I've said it a million times but I'll say it again; my time in India and the wonderful people I met there, like Mary Alice and Sarah, had infinite impacts on this shift, and I'm just so so grateful for that.

Still, as far as I have come and as much as I have grown, there is still so much more to be.

How grateful I am to feel excited about this.

This is the cute little picture MA posted today.